Discovering Yourself Underneath The Clutter

When I realized my clutter was covering everything in my house like a cloud of dust, I panicked.

At first I was nervous because I loved (or was attached to) so many of the items I owned, even though in reality they were owning me. Taking the time to declutter meant physically holding each item and forcing myself to make a decision about it.

Here's where the panic came in: I was so afraid that in getting rid of more than half of my belongings, I would lose myself and my style by throwing it all away. I worried that I would not be able to figure out who I was without all of these items telling me.

In essence, I was allowing the stuff I'd accumulated over the years to dictate my style and personality. Sounds strange, right?

We all have those items that we want people to see when they come into our homes. Mine would be books because they tell so much about me and who I am as a person, not to mention the fact that I have invested a lot of time in reading and I want others to feel that they can ask me about them. That in turn deepens conversations because if you're well-informed on a subject, people will more likely want to talk about it.

However, when you've got mementos from every single trip you've taken or stuff from every shopping trip in the past few weeks sitting out on your table or dresser, it will be hard to see the things you really care about underneath.

When I began ridding my home of unnecessary clutter, it felt like I was throwing part of myself into trash bags and loading it into the back of my car. I experienced days when I felt emotionally drained and naked because my bedroom was so bare of the things I had surrounded myself with for so long.

The act of throwing things away felt good and right, yet there was a significant feeling of loss attached to it all. I laid in bed at night after each day of cleaning out, thinking "What have I done?" I forced myself to breathe in and out and calm the fears that were creeping up on me.

Once I got used to the fact that I was never getting those items back, my emotional state began to settle into the feeling that it was okay to not have things piled in the corner, catching dust. Once I realized that being clean freed me from feelings of suffocation and anxiety, that was what I wanted more than anything. My home became the place where I went to feel rested.

After ridding myself of all the things I merely liked, it allowed the things I LOVED to take a more prominent place in my home. Now, the books I cherish have center stage on my book cart, and the photographs that were tucked away in my closet now have space on my shelf where I can see them.

It is one of the greatest feelings in the world to know how hard you've worked to get your home to this point. The peace is overwhelming at times.

I frequently sit on my bed and stare at the wall, just because it feels good to not SEE anything there. Sounds strange, but it really is calming.

Your true style will emerge as you declutter and take control of the stuff situation, so don't be afraid of getting out those trash bags and moving them out. You won't regret it and you will get to know yourself in an entirely new way.